I believe that people can change! That is why I have been a counsellor for over 33 years. During this time I have worked with people who were considered difficult to work with such as people with emotional problems, individuals plagued by addiction issues, those struggling in their relationships, people coming out of homes where domestic abuse and violence is a common occurrence, and those who lost everything due to poor choices and moved into the streets.
I have seen many people change! Some people began the process of getting a handle on what was crippling their lives when they began counselling. There were also some who did not show any change during the time when they came for counselling. With all of these people, I have kept in mind that I was like a farmer planting seeds that will grow at a later date. Each person may either grow at some point of their life or choose not to do so! I have observed over the years that each person takes different lengths of time to change. I believe it is impossible to say that a person can completely change in 3 weeks or 3 months!
That is why I believe a caring counsellor comes along side his or her clients in counselling sessions. Good counsellors would ask in-depth questions to encourage the process of change. The work involves listening to clients about what has brought them in to meet the counsellor. Identifying strengths and resources which are useful tools to aid counselees to change are part of counselling. I also know that changes take place when caring people work with those in distress. That is why I believe that changes occur when people believe in one another! Clients will never be told how to live or what to do with their lives. I will take affirmative action only if I knew that you or others are at risk to hurt or injury! Otherwise I will respect your decision to be who you want to be and what you want to do with your life.
This is why talking about one’s problems is important. Even as issues get talked about between people, they are no longer hidden and operating at a sub-conscious level. If you are in a relationship with someone who cares for you and has desires the best for you such as a spouse, a family member or a friend, then you are most fortunate in that you can talk and find answers to a lot of questions within you! However, you would need professional help to sort through the minefield of issues, which have been a long time in the making! A professional and trained counsellor brings an outsider’s perspective and may be able to give you a feedback without any bias.
Finally, here is something which I encourage my clients to do, to give me an honest feedback about what benefited them in the session. If I had missed the point, I certainly would like to hear from my clients in the session. I believe in being open with my clients.